Time to Hang it up

We all love playing Fantasy sports. It gives that what if you were a gm feeling etc. I started out playing fantasy baseball back in college. I'd say Freshman year. Then I moved into both Baseball and Football. I was pretty damn good back in the day too. Consistently winning titles or being top 3. Then came the real world.

No longer the days when you could search the interwebs all the time. Now its about work and finding that happy time to get the info you need. After that comes the lets start throwing money down, etc, etc. 2 years ago I had a chance to win the 2 leagues I played in, but lost both. Since then its been nothing but a downward spiral.

Currently I'm a robost 4-8 in 3 leagues with one team winless. Thats right I'm the 2008 Detroit Lions in that league. Fewest points scored, the laughing stock of the league. Looking at my record and the fact that I have about zero time to put towards fantasy, I realized that its time to hang it up.

I'm no where near the manager I used to be, and when it became a job versus just fun that's when you know its over. I could pull a Farve and decide to keep coming back here and there, but as a full time 2 sports fantasy manager, I can safely say its over. Back to being just a fan, not the dumb ass watching 10 games cheering on all random guys, or that guy screaming at Peyton Manning to stop throwing to Dallas Clark and throw to Reggie Wayne because hes on my team and I need the points. No more of that, just back to rooting on the Pats and Braves and just being a fan.

September's Ask Al

Welcome back to the Ask Al segment brought to you by Husqvarna. Our question this week is how is it working on a gov't IT project.

I don't think that was the best question right now... and that would be the reason our segment is brought to you by Husqvarna. Gov't projects are bloated with tons of BS, process and procedure that take away from getting actual work done. They have process, upon process, upon process that if you cut 3/4 of it out, will still accomplish the same thing, just with less of a headache and wanting to say "Child Please" or want to smack a "ho." The goals of a software development company are to deliver a good product that works and the client is pleased with. It seems that with the gov't they put more and more middle men in that tell you how things should be, or what process you need to follow which leads to more and more problems deploying that product that you want.

So how is it on a gov't IT project... it flat out SUCKS!

Thanks for tuning into Ask Al or as I'd like to call it today... What really Grind's Al's gears.

Till next time I'm your host Al Borland. Have a good one.

The most wonderful time of the year....

And no its not that staples commercial. For us crazy, psycho, partially mentally unstable people its what we call Fantasy Draft time. Where you either gather at someones place, or by your trusty computer and draft away players, in hopes that you will find ways to rack up a ton of dough.

This year I thought I was going to scale back to just 2 leagues, but no I'm in 3. One was out of a request of a friend that he wanted someone he knew in the league. Of course I get the first pick and go ahead and draft DeAngelo Williams to get dirty looks. That's right I thought out side of the box and didn't draft Adrian Peterson. To which I got a few dirty looks and a question of why did you not draft him.

Last night was draft #2 which was a keeper draft. That went fairly smooth with some questionable draft choices by some. This leads me to tonight. The final draft I'm involved with. Where my friend decides that hes going to scale the league down, but add the catch all flex spot. That's right kids, a QB/RB/WR/TE flex for you non fantasy folk. This lead to some of the most WTF drafting. Drew Brees #1, Tom Brady #4 and Peyton Manning all gone before the 10th pick which I had. So much for top flight QB. Instead I take LT2 (LaDainian Tomlinson) and Larry Fitzgerald. I had to get some top flight talent instead of the 2nd tier QBs. I grabbed McNabb in round 4 which I'll have to say was worth it considering I was watching people make runs on that position, like everyone made a run to the bank in the 20's.

I think I have 3 competitive teams this year... hopefully some luck will happen to fall my way as well.

Why us?

In what seemed to be the season of destiny for the Ballston Brewers, we checked out in the first playoff game we played. The final more like a lacrosse/football score 20-19, that's right a 20-19 score. The game featured a home plate umpire that had no fucking clue how to track a pitch going over 55 mph, a massive comeback only to be out done by 2, 2 out rallies.

So lets start with the umpire first. We find out later in the game that we got the shitty crew. That's correct the number 1 and 2 teams in all of the 25+ league facing each other, the umpire association sends a shitty crew. The ump sucked for both sides, a little more for us, but overall was horrible. Normal strikes were balls, it was horrendous. I was amazed no one got run for arguing balls and strikes. The field ump even apologized for not putting himself behind. There is strike one against us.

While I don't want this to be Strike 2 it has to be. Waters Field in Vienna, just happens to be our house of horrors. Its a field turf/robo grass field that has seen us play now 2 of our worst defensive games along with having a teammate destroy his ankle there. So dribbler after dribbler are hit, errors ensue and we are faced with a 13-0 deficit after only 2 innings. We find a way to start chipping away. We nickle and dime them, then as a field turf field would play and a little help from the ump, walks and errors start and next thing you know its 16-16.

Strike 3 comes in the form of us putting together 2 innings to take 18-16 and 19-18 leads, only to watch the Cubs rally BOTH times with 2 outs. Strike one didn't help out the cause at all, but when you can't find a way to get one out....

Just wasn't our season. Finish in 1st Place in the division only to be sent home packing in the first game (semi finals). Looks like we have some fuel for next year.

Ask Al

Welcome back to This New House. I'm Al Borland and it's that time for the Ask Al segment you've all waited for. Well that might be a bit stretch, but whatever. Our question of the day comes from Drunk Mike in PG County. Mike asks "Al have you ever noticed friends you thought were close just start to fall off the face of the earth?"

Mike I've definitely seen it, and well I've probably done it to people as well. As we all get older and mature, the core around you gets more defined. People who you thought were close to you just drop off the face and you don't even know why. Mostly its the out of sight out of mind mentality that happens. We are all guilty of it at some point, there just comes a time when you really notice it. It stings because you see the people off getting married, having kids, etc and you hate to have to find out thanks to someones post on facebook about what happened. All I can say is make the best out of the close relationships you have, make sure that if you want them to stand up that you put your effort into them, or else they will go away just like the rest of them. Don't take it personally, you just have to realize that people just do it and it will happen. Another thing is you will really find out who your closest friends are when something awful happens. If you lose a loved one, those that were close to you will be there for you regardless. Also, people that know you and actually give a damn will say something to you. Whether its at the time, or if you happen to run into them on the street almost a year later. That's where you should focus your energy.

Grinding My GEARS!

Welcome back. SO the hiatus for about 2 months was caused by work, work, baseball, no personal time etc. I haven't exactly been able to pinch a loaf with out multitasking.

So with being busy comes dealing with the inevitable stress or short fuze that accompanies it. So far I haven't doen too bad other than wanting to ground pound a few people.

I know real stress management there, but when you go on "vacation" for a fun weekend. That ends up turning into dealing with 25 year olds acting like they are 12 and stupid bull shit drama. Throw in some college town bouncers who think they are the shit when really they are just douchebags. Some fun right there.

14 baseball games in 14 days... Body definitely is going to breakdown soon. Already have some road rash from a bad slide, throw in a crunching at the plate where some fool thought I was Ray Fosse... oops, bad idea. Same game, the opposing teams manager just acts like a total douche...

And the final straw. The person who believes he is the "PM" while my true PM is on vacation. He's trying to play that manager role and do dick while passing stuff off on the rest of us. I really want to say "Know your role rook" but 1. I'm working on my filter and 2. I realized today that he's one calculating SOB who if you cross him will stab you in the back and bury you. So much for me being able to speak my mind. While on the topic of work, since I'm only in the office once I week I'm being booted from my cube... just fucking lovely.

That's what's really grinding my gears!

This week's Ask Al

Welcome back everyone, this weeks "Ask Al" question comes from Jerome in Anacostia. Jerome writes: "Al is Metro retarded?" ....In a work Jerome YES!!

Some of you may know about the June 22nd crash involving two Metro rail Red Line trains. This happened due to issues with the ATC (Automated Train Control) system. That's right, AUTOMATED!!! A subway system shoudl not be fucking automated. Do you see NYC or Boston with automated subways.... no. You see them in airports like Atlanta, Tampa and Vegas. There is you first FAIL.

Second Fail is the whole stopping at the end of the plaform. Really, I mean REALLY. The operators have no idea where to stop the train so they have to take it to the end of the plaform? Retards. Also don't see the safety in putting trains there. More people just being lazy.

Suggestions for metro: install signals throughout the system, not just entry and exit of stations, plus have operators that can DRIVE.

That's all for this weeks Ask Al, be sure to stop back next week for another segment of Ask Al where we tackle the pressing issues. I'm Al Borland.

Vegas Part Deux

Welcome back. So I was out in Vegas again, this time for the Binford Tools Vegas spectacular. They decided to throw it this year at Treasure Island. And let me tell you, it's definitely a treasure alright. The amount of plastic surgery I saw must have cost a kings ransom. Mix in some of the biggest tools that Binford has to offer and you've got yourself one hell of a weekend.

One of the Binford reps Mike had probably the best term I've heard of. It's "Bro-douche." That's right Bro-douche. If you fall into that category you are likely to have a lovely dime piece attached to you arm to which everyone will ask "Seriously...him with her?" It's just membership into that exclusive club that gives you that lovely lady. Still trying to figure out how that happens or get some clarification from the rules committee as to why that's happening.

Besides the bro-douche, the wildlife was out and about in full force. Some shouldn't have been let out of their cages, where as others well were trying a little TOO hard, but it's Vegas.

I spend my endorsement money on the craps table mostly. I thought I was going to catch a nice heater to double it up, but that was to no avail.

All in all it was a great event put on by Binford like usual.

May's Ask Al

Time for the monthly installment of Ask Al. I'm your host Al Borland.

Lets get to that mail bag. First question from Ever Heard of A Debit/Credit Card in Fairfax, VA. He asks " Are their really people out there who don't have the concept of what a Debit or Credit Card is?"

We Ever Heard, unfortunately yes. I just happened to get stuck behind a moron like that. I was at the local Wegmans getting my weeks worth of groceries. The lady in front of me decided that she wanted to buy out Wegmans (about a $300 bill). Of course she her information is a little off and the 6 forms of id that she needs for a check are just taking forever to get straight. So the manager comes over about twice. Meanwhile I start a conversation with the other unlucky sole behind me about well the 21st century and things called credit or debit cards. It was like those Visa or Mastercard commericals where the place is running smoothe until some yutz decides to pay with cash or a check. Remember folks checks are meant for paying rent and bills, not food at your grocery store.

I wish we had more time, but since this fool decided to kill my time with a check I'll have to cut this months segment a little short.

Thanks for watching this months Ask Al, I'm Al Borland for This New House.

Season 1 Recap

So season 1 is over and well it got the re-up.

As most of you know, when I first took this gig I was expecting it to be an absolute shit show. (See posts from last May) But as it would be, it petered out. What I thought was going to be a match made in Hell with me being confined to my room, has actually turned out to be a pretty decent living arrangement. I might not have been like my old apartment, but it has been nice. So when the chance to re-up came around I took it. For what I have, I can't complain. Let's hope for another solid year, although some material would be nice.

Viva Las Vegas

Las Vegas, the place where you'll need a Sam Adams at 9 in the morning to "get the taste of weed and hooker spit" outta your mouth. But seriously Vegas, great place but only in small doses. 3-4 days or a long weekend is just amount that perfect amount of time.

I was out there for the beginning of March Madness. Great time, but way too many little drunk girls running around on spring break. Not to mention the train wrecks that were there. On the flight from Salt Lake to Vegas (thanks Delta) there just happened to be a woman, who probably had a good 10K worth of work done. The lips, the girls, botox, etc. My friends and I were trying to figure out if she was going for business or pleasure. Wouldn't be surprised if it was for the former. But just as soon as I thought we only had to see the train wreck on the plane, no she had to be in the taxi line with us and pass us every time we moved closer in line. I just wanted to poke my eyes out with a rusty screw driver it was that bad.

To make up for that awfulness, the cabbie we had was great. Funny as hell, even offered to give us a ride to a strip club when he was working. We didn't take him up on the offer, but probably better than the minions on the street pimping out the flyers, or the sleazy guys asking if you want to go to the strip club.

That was followed by walking the strip and seeing an over abundance of booty dresses. Some that were fine and some that well shouldn't have gone with that outfit. There were a LOT of those, but its Vegas and everyones all about the booze.

The highlight of the trip was the use of my "analog blog." I have a randomness book that I keep, and lets just say the goal was to make the book. Lets say there were some quality lines that made the book:

- Me: make a comment about a girl, my friend:" I'm Afraid of what she might do... I'm afraid I might like it"

- Girl walks past in something that shouldn't have been worn, my friend" Her Legs are a little to sausage-ie for my liking"

There were a few more that came out after our 3 games of beer pong at Excalibur, but I just decided I didn't want to bust out the book on the street.

Some other notes:

-Sports book and March Madness: everyone jumps or cries with every shot. I was in that boat a few times.

-Saturdays in March = Tons of Vegas weddings.

Gotta love Vegas, that's all I'll say.

Programming Update

So back last year in May, I decided that I was going to start to blog about my transition from an apartment to living in a townhouse. For those of you who haven't read the blog, let's just say there were some fireworks when we were signing the lease with some of the strangest rules and questions I've ever seen. So in turn I thought I was in for one hell of a ride and that he would be feeding me material to just rail on. Well, the complete opposite has happened. While its been an interesting first year in the town house, I can't complain at all. My housemate, while he as his quirks, is no where near the pain I thought he would be.

So on that note, I've decided that its time to take this blog in another direction. It's going to be more about just the random things I notice and see, along with some good laughs that I come across. There might be some self reflection as well, since during the past year I've had the biggest change in my life happen to me (The loss of my father). So get ready sports fans for some fun.